blah blah blah
blah blah blah
enough of many da pian today, im changing blog for SAFETY purposes because of SOMEONE.
bye people. thanks for being a supporter. i'll stop blogging for at least two months. LOL
see if i can tahan or not.
cause,
im the ang moh LIBAI
LOL
flew into your heart at [5:38 AM]
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你走了我也不在乎
我的心好痛
我掉泪你也不管
你了我也不会为你掉泪
因为你也不会
主啊,就让我在她的前面消
原来至今我们三个是玩八蛋,不是你的骄傲
在你的里我从来不是一个成功的孩子
只是个废物
flew into your heart at [6:40 AM]
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rain rain go away
rain rain go away
come again another day
little children want to play
rain rain go away
and today, I woke up at the earliest, at 2.14am, scaring myself and panting, oh gosh, I was having a social studies exam. LOL. having graduated from secondary school for like more than one year already. LOL. funny dreams I have.
and the other time I woke up was at 6.30 am.
for now, I declare myself, the early bird!
LOL!
flew into your heart at [8:21 PM]
ELF!



and this are update of my hair.
I had those days of sexy long hair days,
short elf hair days,
normal girl hair like now :)
I love to smile
I love to be happy
those people who makes me cry ought to be executed nd put in prison.
LOL
okie, got to go, and Im going to church again, for prayer and praise meeting :) cause..YESHURAWKS :))
flew into your heart at [2:36 AM]
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sleepless nights
it really feels terrible to sleep so little everyday.
and get up so early in the morning. today is around six thirty.
today I suddenly woke up at 4.22am, yesterday was 4.45am, and the day before was 4.55.am.
and the next time waking up is already six
and its no wonder that
-headache is always there
-acne's getting worse
-heavy eyebags hanging on my eye
-cui-ness getting severe by the day
-fear gets the grip of me
and dont even mention about how I feel each time I wake up with a dream, then to realise, its fake and it seemed so real. man, I just need someone to tell me, its oki. frowns*
my heart and my soul
I give you control
consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise
become my embrace
to love you from the inside out
everlasting your light will shine when all else fades
never ending
your glory goes beyond all things
and the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
from the inside out ofmy soul cries out from
the inside out of my soul
and this shall be the song in my night when I cant sleep becuase I believe, praise is the most beautiful, in times of adversity. thankyou daddy God :)
hoonhoon loves you yeshu!
what'ever that it the cause of it, I pray that daddy God will just heal me and let me recover because i just need so much sleep. and can you believe it ? I am actually someone who take take two afternoon naps a day and I need around 16 hours of sleep everyday and now Im getting 3-4 hours of sleep everyday and with my so very pack de schedule, I'll get sick very soon and I just dont wante another round of seeing doctor straight five times in a month. and my low blood is getting worse by teh day. just yesterday, went out of the school with my school de LC play de people and when we were coming back, we need to climb a long flight of stairs before we can reach teh over-head bridge of our school. yes, I did, but I felt so breathless that I couldnt talk. I took deep breath but no useless. I rested but couldnt breath in or out any air. why like that?
Im freaking irritated with myself.
Lesser and lesser patience for myself.
God, why am I like this?
and God let me speak with werds that build people up and not ear them down. sorry if I have in any way, grieved your Holy Spirit :(
ar, how bad to start my day
boo.
emo-ish day
:(
I dont feel like going out
nvm. stay home is good. going ddown church later to see my dear pastor mark anyway.
in the weeks ahead, aso many thigns are gonna happen and number one on list is
-school choir performance at alumni lounge
-AS school LC play at OTC
-church good friday musical
all at one go, time is confirmed gonna clash somehow. and its time to prioritise time again.
I must be really sad. somehow I figure out that in this post, after typing for like so long, theres not even a single bit of this "LOL". heavy eyebags=heavy heart you see
nvm, its oki. I think school is gonna be so crazy for me. I have like LC play from 9-5pm and then choir pactise at 5-10pm. no break?? and in addition to my suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, I think Im so gonna fall sick soonish soon soon. nvm. its okie. its easy to forget someone too. yup, talk less and be occupied. be so very de occupied.
and now my number on the list is to start doing quiet time. havent been doig and am guilty of it is because Im really so tired and drained out, so much so that I fell asleep everywhere that I go.
I love the chiense song by jaychou 甜甜的and退后
reminds me of teh cute mingjay with me singing and acting cute. LOL
mingjay, where is your gay partner chia chia? and your dear dear kok kian? LOL
I miss you guys! :)
go out someday oki??
and jaychou look so cute singing the song tian tian de. LOL
cute song. I like! so very de much de lor. LOL
went to meet pastormark and pastor tay just now. and I guess, everything is fine now :)
and she goes "its okie, its alright, alice alice fight fight fight!"
flew into your heart at [4:44 PM]
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cui morning
cui-ness day begins with heavy eye bags.
today all my friends say I look very ah lian-ish all because of my yellow top together with my purple coulour de skinny jeans, three ear-piercings with bling bling studs and also, in addition to my big big earrings I wear,and my haircut including my bright yellow, blue and red nail coulour and oh man, they say, WAH! today you look very LIAN eh. oki lor, never mind lor.
ya, not the first time my friends say i look ah lian, so, that's so surprising. but I talk not ah lian one de lor. I use classy english and and I speak with great eloquence. LOL. like seriously.
and Im adele in the LC play. one of my friend said the character suit me. just like me. i went like wah liew, like that say cause its a little high and keesiao kinda chracter. good lor. nvm. i like can already :) LOL
apologize is the song of the song. very nice. I like.
i wante to go out with val.
i wante to go to the beach.
i wante to enjoy my sleep
i wante a cup of tall caramel macchiato like now
i wante to go on a shopping spree
i wante to buy more jackets, tank tops and nice cute dresses
and oh man, dinner and dance is coming in my twenty plus days time, acne and pimple, pls heal quicky
and pls pls, hair, grow faster faster, my frinch, you need to be more long and sexy and my bhind hair, pls grow nicely for i have no more money to cut my hair already. LOL
flew into your heart at [8:02 PM]
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cui-ness day :((
cui-ness day :(
flew into your heart at [4:14 PM]
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RELEASE



soul set free
twas grace I've found
1/3/2008
And before I forget or I get atrangled by my own cluthes of guilt and bitterness of unfirgiveness and allow it to birth into hared and something terrible, The gracious loving Lord saved me and set me free
And I will never ever forget this precious werds from the mouth of Pastor Daniel.
and it goes like this:
" Until you learn to accept yourself then is the day of breakthrough",
Pastor Daniel and Mabel, my youth leader repeated similiar werds that truck me so hard and accurately and which that was to explain the 800 plus friendster profile view. man, that really crazy la! and its within a month somemore. Im not ashamed of it. the werd is "self-seeking".
This is because, in everyone's life, attention need to be drawn. For me, I think its unconciously one. Maybe the reason is because I dont feel loved by the people around me. As the bible goes, love is not self-seeking you see what I mean??
As Pastor Daniel held my little small elf head in his fatherly hands, I felt a release, I felt a kind of father's love flowing through me and I really felt so loved by him and daddyGOd. If Im not wrong,I heard him crry for or because of me. What I've been through ever since last year summer. He said many many things that struck me. for like example, " You are/ you need to be secured in God alone." and I replied, saying" how do you know???" and just give a short reply saying" I just know" then, number two, He said " you never accept or love yourself". and by this time, Im alrady very cure, its something really prophetic and he really knows when he was praying for me. then I agreed with him, saying " yes, Pastor Daniel, I have never accepted myself for who I am"
It something really very important
I reallly remember this day. It the day of release and the dayof freedom frmo within and all is by the grace of God that his grace is more than suffiencient for me :)
And even Val said something which really touched my very heart. like, " you know, we've known each other for like 10 years? about more than half of our life?? It just really hurts to see you like this. We all love you and accept you for who you are. Dont listen to what other people are saying about you. Dont, and she repeated sternly with much sisteryl love, Dont listen to them. We're all waiting to see what comes out of this. you have to move on. really, let go and move on"
hearing this, tears welled up fully in my eyes and I cant help to allow the tears to roll down my eyes and we gave each other a warm hug. It really feels wonderful and great to know that people around actually cares so much for me. i was too naive to think that nobody ever bothers, so I dont bother giving myelf attention or to accept and love myself. and man, to this day, Im so wrong la! I ought to love myself. because the only way to overcome this, as what Pastor Daniel Had said, is to learn to love and accept yourself for simply who you are, then you will be able to forgive and love others more. And val said smething like, and one day, ten years down the road, or maybe even shorter, we dont know, you willbe able to share your story to these girls in the youth! and I so very agree with her, Becaue I know many will go through what I had gone through. Although It was very painful, I gained and learnt many many priceless and precious gift of lessons from God :)
and one more thing that pastor daniel said to me was, woman who are able to forgive and love are more beautiful even without anything on their face. yes! Its so true man :)
PastorDaniel, thankyou for being so nice and prayed for me like a father would to his child. Thankyou for helping me to overcome this hurdle in my life and I really feel so happy that everyday is worth living for. Because God loves me so much.
HOONHOON LOVES YOU PASTORDANIEL!
and she lay down her make up stuff, till necessary :)
flew into your heart at [5:01 PM]
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